Getting into a long distance relationship without first having an expectation management session is setting oneself up for failure and frustration. Unfortunately, many couples leave the expectation management aspects of their long distance relationships to chance, which often leads to great pain and frustration later on, when these expectations (which they never even bothered to clarify within themselves, let alone communicate) are not met.
Let us, then, examine some facets of expectation management, as applied to a long distance love relationship.
Firstly, your expectations for the relationship need to be realistic. For many people, a long distance relationship can never be quite as fulfilling as a relationship in which the partners are close together (especially where the partners happen to have gotten into the relationships primarily in pursuit of physical intimacy - with which there is nothing wrong). Entering into a long distance relationship with unrealistic expectations of bliss is clearly setting oneself up for frustration. If physical intimacy is your main need in the relationship, the thing you can do about it is to make it be known that you expect regular reunions (wherever these can be arranged) and (tactfully) make it be known to your partner what you will be looking forward to during these reunions, leaving no room for rude surprises.
Expectations for long distance relationships need to be communicated. Tell them, clearly and tactfully, to your partner and listen carefully (including to what remains unsaid) to work out whether they are expectations your partner can meet.
And finally, as you set, clarify and communicate expectations for the long distance love relationship, do so in knowledge of the fact that when all is said and done, the expectations may not be met. If this turns out to be the case, you will have the serenity of knowing that ‘your expectations not being met’ – in spite of your best efforts - was also one of your expectations. This too, can forestall a lot of pain.
